Monday, January 14, 2013
"I Had Two Kids For Him, He Cheated On Me And Abandoned Me, Now He Wants Me Back"
My name is Ngozi, a 27-year-old heartbroken girl from Delta state.
Please I am writing this because I am in a confused state right now. I need an urgent advice before i take a decision that might end my life or keep me alive.
I met frank when I was 20yrs, he is from Issoko while am Ibuzu according to my parents because we have never travelled to my town before. Frank was my first (I guess you know what i mean). He used to be the prince of my life, he was everything I wanted in life and all i desired. I was doing my ND then while he was an undergraduate. As the relationship blossomed, I introduced him to my parents and to my surprise, they didn't like him, but the had no choice because I love him.
During our final year he got me pregnant. Both families met and agreed we should get married. And it was also agreed it would be after I had my baby as their tradition demands. But prior to that Frank has started behaving somehow. He nags,beats me and complains over virtually everything i do.
To avoid taking much of your time, I had my baby and for five horrible years, I lived in his parents house while he lived in a three-bedroom apartment he rented with his friends somewhere on the island. He never wanted me and my baby to come and stay with him. On one occasion I visited unannounced and i caught him with another girl. I pretended I didn't see him and went home.
In all the 5yrs I have been with him, I never cheated on him, but he has been enjoying himself alone, although he sometimes gives me money for my child. Soon after, I got pregnant for him again. This time my dad was so mad at me, he asked my man to come and pay for my bride price, but his family, especially the mum, insisted that he must finish getting his Masters Degree before anything. During those period that I lived with them, the mother was a virus that tormented my life and whenever I complained to my father, he would say it is marriage and that I should endure. I had no option than to keep enduring.
During my second pregnancy, a fight broke between me and my man, in the presence of my junior sister. It was a serious incident and I was eight months pregnant at the time,and after that, the love I have for him died.
It was when I gave birth to my second child that Uba came into my life. He is of thes ame age with my kids father, he's not rich and live in a apartment he rented with his friend. He was so good to me and my kids, I fell for him. In fact it was the love I had for him that made me go back to my fathers house. And this decision made me keep more distance from the father of my kids and create time for my new man. We had a wonderful time and plan future together and he's planning to get his own apartment this year and formally come and ask for my hands in marriage.
But the issue now is that, my kids father suddenly want me and my kids to come and stay with him for the first time in 6yrs, while I have been spending a beautiful and wonderful eight months with Uba.
I love Uba, even my last child had spend more time with Uba than his own father. But my kids' father came with his family asking for my hand in marriage and am confused. My father suddenly love my kids father and he is forcing me to marry him at least for my kids, but my heart lies with Uba. My father want me to marry him by all means against my will or even trying to ask for my own opinion. Though he knew i have Uba but he never care to know him.
I am very confused because Uba has sworn not to let me go, my kids father want me back by all means. Infact he has closed my Facebook page that's why i begged my friend to use his page to post this. He also damaged my sim card and my father supported him and also gave me just one week to go and live with my kids father.
I would have run to Uba's house if it is only me but my kid only survive through me. I want to follow my kids father for my kids, but i don't want to regret ever taken such decision.
Please help me with your advice.